life abundantly

I was wrapping up my grocery shopping trip at our local food co-op a few weeks ago and the cashier, who I hadn’t seen in awhile, asked me how I was doing. I replied, “Really good!” And with a rather astonished look she said, “Really?!” “Yes!” I replied sincerely, “We are doing really well.” The look on her face spoke of her surprise and as I processed the emotions that crossed her face, I think I understood why. I mean, it was the end of 2020 - one of the most challenging years for so many, yet here I was - a musicians’ wife, stay-at-home-mom with young kids saying that our life was so good and we were doing really well. I think her surprise came from a deep understanding that for many this has not been a season of doing well.

As I drove home her surprise stuck with me. I thought through the why behind my answer. Why are we doing so well? Why is life truly and wonderfully good? The answer undoubtedly is Jesus. Every time. The answer is Jesus. He is why we are good. He is our peace, our provision, our joy.

I know it probably sounds cliche, because, honestly, there are a lot of cliches out there - especially when it comes to Christianity. But this isn’t a post about Christianity or religion. This is a post about Jesus - radical, grace-giving, healing, joy-giving Jesus. You see, this past year was a year where I fell deeply in love with Jesus - more than ever before. Even though I’ve followed him and loved him as long as I can remember, this year I started seeking him in a way that I had never done before and I’m telling you because the way he is working in me, growing me, and changing me is radical. His love is radical. Scandalous, really.

It started with a pandemic. It started as I watched fear rise up all around me and within me. It started as I said no to that fear and instead fixed my eyes on Jesus and asked him daily, multiple times per day, to help me see truth, know truth, and speak truth. Every news report. Every status update. Every post. Every conversation. See truth, know truth, speak truth. The words flowed off my tongue for weeks, months. They became my mantra for 2020 in many ways.

Through this, the Bible verse that kept coming to my mind was John 12:14 (TPT) in which Jesus tells his disciples, his friends, his followers, “I tell you this timeless truth: The person who follows me in faith, believing in me, will do the same mighty miracles I do — even greater miracles than these because I go to be with my Father!” Wait a minute. He said those who believe in him would do GREATER THINGS THAN HE HAS DONE! This is the man who healed the lame, the sick, the blind. He calmed storms. He fed multitudes with a few measly fish and loaves of bread. He turned water into wine - and not just any wine, the BEST wine. Greater things than that??? And here I was sitting in my home battling fear in a city that was rather locked down due to fear of sickness, surrounded by unrest, and I was asking to see truth and know truth. “Greater things,” he said. He healed the sick. “Greater things,” he said. He healed broken hearts. “Greater things,” he said. He restored lives. “Greater things,” he said.

“Ok, Father. I see your truth. I believe your truth. But what do I do with this truth?” I asked.

The answer has come slowly. It came through deep conversations on our deck with dear friends who were hearing the same truths. Friends who were seeking Jesus through this strange and challenging year. It came through watching fear and division continue to take hold of our families, our communities, our nation, our world. It came in the gentle, consistent voice of a God who loves his people and wants to restore them to him.

“Come to me all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 (NIV).

Rest for your souls. Isn’t that what so many of us needed in 2020? Rest for our souls. It was a heavy year where so many of us carried heavy burdens. Burdens of sickness. Burdens of job loss. Burdens of loneliness. Burdens of confusion. Yet, he said, come to me. Let me take that from you. Let me carry that burden. Let me carry YOU. And when you do, when you walk with me, when you believe in me and let my Spirit reside in you, you will do GREATER things than I have done. Take that rest that I give you and let my joy pour out of you.

I don’t have the answers for how we fix our society. I don’t know how we solve this mess of COVID that we find ourselves in. But I do know that Jesus heals heavy hearts. He gives peace. He gives joy. He gives love. And he gives them lavishly and with abandon. In John 10:10 (ESV) Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” 2020 stole a lot from us. We will see the effects of its’ destruction for years to come. Yet, in spite of that, Jesus says I have come that they may have LIFE. In the Passion translation it says, “But I have come to give you everything in abundance, more than you expect - life in its fullness until you overflow!”

This is why I was able to say to the cashier at the co-op, “Yes! I am well. Yes, we are good.” It is because I found rest in him this past year. I found peace in him. I found joy in him. I found abundance in him. He provided for our needs - physically, financially, emotionally, relationally. He gave us life abundantly.

Friend, he longs to do the same for you. Seek him. He’s not hard to find, truly. He’s waiting. He loves you so.

I want to end this post with a blessing on you, dear reader. May the Lord of Heaven and Earth bless you today with the knowledge of his passionate love. May his brilliant light shine on you. May you feel his presence within and around you. May you experience his peace. In the name of Jesus, may you be healthy and whole.

You are loved, friend. So very loved.

setting intentions

I love January. Cold, dark, crisp, cozy January. After thoroughly enjoying the Christmas season, I love how spacious, fresh, and tidy our little home feels after all of the decorations are put away and how we settle into the simplicity of the new year. For me, the turn of the calendar is a time of reflection - what were the joys of the past year, what were the challenges (as it was 2020, we all know there were many challenges!)? But more than that, I love to look forward to what the new year holds and I love to lean with intentionality into how we can live this new year to its fullest. There are many opinions about setting resolutions, goals, intentions - call them whatever you want - but I find that taking time to set intentions for what I want our year to hold is so very beneficial. I think it gives vision and direction to the year. It provides an opportunity to put priorities in order and to come together as a family and establish what our true values are. I think to live life well, especially with a family, it is helpful to live life intentionally. So with that, I thought I’d share a few of my intentions with you in an effort to encourage you to take time this year to be intentional - to live the life you want you and your family to live, no matter the outside circumstances. It is your life, your year. What do you want it to look like?

Intention #1: OUTSIDE, OUTSIDE, OUTSIDE

If you follow me on Instagram, you know that we love to spend time in the woods. We have a weekly homeschool group that meets in the woods where the kids run wild and free. We try to get outside everyday, but it can be challenging with errands to run, toddler naps, meal times, early sunsets, and aaallllll the snow gear that winter in Minnesota requires. That being said, the benefits of being outside are immeasurable. And I don't use that word just for emphasis, scientists have still not been able to fully measure/define the benefits that we receive from being out in the natural light. It’s phenomenal! Some of the benefits include bringing balance to our circadian rhythms thus providing better sleep, boosting our immune systems through vitamin D from the sun, strengthening our microbiome through microorganisms in the air and dirt, grounding our bodies by connecting our bare feet to the earth, increasing physical balance and confidence as we move our bodies over unpredictable surfaces such as a rocky path in the woods, the list goes on and on.

So, this year I decided to be more intentional about our time outside in two different ways. First, we’ve decided to join the 1000 Hours Outside Challenge. You can print your own hour tracker on their website and they also have a TON of resources for why spending time outdoors is so good for us, and especially good for our kids. This challenge is going to be a stretch for us as it’s is a lot more hours than what we are used to doing, but I’m so excited for how it is going to grow us, challenge us, and increase our love for being and playing outside.

The second way is that I’m committing to quick sunrise walks several mornings per week. This is something I’m doing all by myself (at least when Dan is not traveling). The benefits for being out in natural light within two hours of the sun rising are fantastic - even if it’s just for a few minutes. So, for now, I’m taking a few minutes before breakfast each day to take a quick walk around the block for some fresh air and bright morning sunlight.

If you are interested in learning more about the benefits of the sun and being outdoors, here are some podcasts and articles that have been helpful for me:

• https://wellnessmama.com/56086/nature-health-benefits/

• https://wellnessmama.com/91779/blue-light-improve-health/

• https://www.westonaprice.org/health-topics/sunlight-and-vitamin-d-theyre-not-the-same-thing/

• https://www.westonaprice.org/podcast/why-getting-cold-this-winter-is-a-good-idea/

• https://www.1000hoursoutside.com/blog/exposure-to-morning-sunlight

Intention #2: BREAK UP WITH MY PHONE

Ok, I’m not actually going to completely break up with my phone, but I’m putting some serious limits on our relationship. Gross. The fact that we can even say we have a relationship with our phones is gross. Isn’t it?!?

First, we bought analog, battery operated alarm clocks. They haven’t arrived yet, but I’m so excited! I found these solid wood ones on Etsy that have a gentle beep and the hands of the clock do not glow in the dark, making them a great choice for sleeping without artificial light (which is very beneficial, btw). Once we have our alarm clocks, we are hoping to keep our phones out of our bedroom. This will reduce our exposure to blue light before and after sunrise, which is beneficial for proper melatonin production and good sleep, and it will also reduce our exposure to EMF’s (electro magnetic fields), which can be harmful for our bodies in many ways.

Second, I’m committing to not checking my phone before sunrise and before spending time with the Lord in the mornings. I’ve actually been doing this since August when I participated in an Instagram challenge called #wordbeforeworld hosted by Well-Watered Women Co. For 30 days I spent time reading the Bible in the mornings before looking at my phone and I’ve kept it up ever since as I found it was a FAR more fulfilling way to start my day. Now I’m taking it a step further by not allowing myself to look at it until after the sun has risen (which really only applies in the winter for me here in the frozen north), or even better, until after my morning walk. It is beneficial to receive the full spectrum of light that we get from the sun before exposing our brains and eyes to the blue lights from our screens.

Several of the links above go into more depth on the importance of full spectrum sunlight verses blue light. Here are some resources about EMF exposure:

• https://www.westonaprice.org/podcast/272-the-shocking-truth-about-electricity-emfs-with-arthur-firstenberg/

• https://wellnessmama.com/129645/emf-exposure/

• https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/emfrf/

• https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/emfs-wifi-radiation/

• https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2020/03/15/emf-home-remediation.aspx

Intention #3: Read More Books - Real, Paper-Bound Books!

We read a lot in our home. It’s hasn’t always been this way, but the past 5 years have seen exponential growth in the amount of time we spend reading and it’s one of my favorite things. Our boys LOVE books. When I bring new books home from the library, it’s like Christmas! They can’t wait to sit down and page through each one. Oak spends time almost every day listening to audio books of his favorite chapter books in his room during his quiet time. And Dan and I have both started reading so much more fiction in the past couple years and we often end our days together reading before bed. The past few years have included a lot of travel for us and so I had started reading more ebooks in an effort to simplify travel. I still think this is a great option for travel, but since 2020 tethered us to our homes, I decided to put the ebooks away and to reach for the paper-bound books instead. I think a pretty paper-bound book is so much more inviting than another screen at the end of the day (and then there’s the whole screen/blue light thing again…)

Last year I made a goal to read 8 novels. I read 7.5 and I’m technically giving myself until the middle of January to finish that last book. My goal, my rules. Once I finish that last book I’ll set my 2021 goal. I’m thinking I’ll go for another 8. I also read a lot of non-fiction and would like to set a goal of reading a non-fiction book every month of two this year. One of the things I’m most excited about reading this year is the Bible. Ha. I’ve read the Bible most days of my life since I was a teenager, but it’s been a long time since I’ve read it through in a year and this year I’m going to do just that! I think reading the Bible in it’s entirety in a year gives us an opportunity to see the love story of God as it has been woven throughout history and it helps us to see our place in that story - which is a beautiful thing to behold. This is the plan I’m using this year.

Intention #4: Foster more independence and family helpfulness

I love the mindset that raising kids is really about raising adults. How do we raise adults who are loving and kind humans and who also know how to and desire to meaningfully contribute to society?? As Oak nears the age of 5 we are working on fostering more independence in him while also helping him to see and understand his role in this family. Simply put, he’s learning how to do chores! Ha! But the deeper side of that is that we want him to learn the why behind the chores. It’s not “because I told you so.” It’s “because you used a dish and so now you clean it up because we all have a role to play in order to live well together as a family.”

Some resources that I’ve found helpful on this topic are:

• Parenting with Love and Logic, by Foster Cline and Jim Fay

• Loving Our Kids on Purpose, by Danny Silk

• https://wellnessmama.com/podcast/how-to-raise-an-adult/

• https://farmhouseschoolhouse.com/rhythm/whistle-while/

Cheers to you and yours as you begin 2021. May it be a year of growth, intentionally, and purpose. We get one life to live. Let’s live it well.

a different kind of fall

You know that place of decision that we each find ourselves in at different points in our lives? The one where we have two choices (or more) and there are such great positives and some negatives about both and the pro/con lists just don’t help make the decision?

That’s the place I found myself in this past spring. We had just lost a baby to miscarriage and my plans to be home with a toddler and a new baby this fall were gone. We firmly believed another baby would come soon, but what would life look like in the meantime? I loved my job (teaching ESL at the University of Minnesota), but life was also feeling a bit out of control with my part-time work schedule, Dan’s periodic touring paired with his gigs and studio time when not on the road, and childcare situations that just weren’t ideal or consistent. We had been planning that I would stop working, so maybe that was the answer even though November was no longer bringing a new baby into our lives. But then there was the job I loved…the students, my colleagues, using my brain in ways that home life and motherhood often don’t…what about all of those things??? Would I regret prematurely ending (or putting on hold) a job that I loved so much? But then there were those times in the classroom where I found myself thinking about the next picture books I should get at the library for Oak and wishing we were playing and exploring in the woods together instead of being apart while I worked…those strong pulls were there too.

It was in this decision making process that I began to remember all of the dreams that have always been there — that my one desire, if I did nothing else in my life, was to raise children who have a love for life, a love for people, and a love for Jesus. Being a mom was what I had always wanted and here was an opportunity for me to fully and wholeheartedly embrace that identity, that role, and that season, and let it fully fill my days. The decision was no longer so hard. Would there be regrets about what I was giving up? Maybe. Would there be regrets about the time I got to spend with my sweet Oak? Probably not. Would there be times that I would need a break from full-time stay-at-home mommyhood? Absolutely. Would it allow us to simplify our lives and create a more peaceful home? Yes, more than ever before.

And so I said my goodbyes-for-now to my sweet colleagues and moved into a typical summer followed by a different kind of fall. This is my first fall since kindergarten where I haven’t been either in school or working/teaching in a school. I love fall and I love the new beginnings and crispness that comes with the new school year. So, instead of digging into school books and schedules, we’ve been digging into this fall with picture books, artwork, nature walks, and lots of time at home for playing. I thought I’d miss the school life/working life more, but that has yet to happen. I am loving this life. I love our daily rhythms that include relaxed mornings with (relative/attempted) quiet reading time in the living room, morning time at the table with breakfast, Bible stories, and nursery rhymes, after lunch story time, and before dinner play or art time. And our weekly rhythms of errands, nature adventures, days at home, walks, and playdates with friends/neighbors. As of now, every week is looking different, but the overall flow of the weeks are the same and it’s creating so much consistency and predictability. I’m already seeing the benefits of that with how much more easily Oak can enter into pretend play or transition from one thing to the next without a battle. And the extra time at home has opened doors for me to follow a few other passions of my own.

We are also expecting a new baby in March and so I’m treasuring these few months of special time with Oak before we grow in love and people in this little house of ours.

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I love how our hearts can answer so many of the questions and decisions we face in our lives, but it’s so easy to let the “shoulds” of societal life guide us instead of listening to what our hearts are quietly trying to tell us. I’m so glad I listened. And so glad I went against what seemed like a more financially stable option and went with what was a better choice for the overall wellbeing of our family and home. There is beauty in less. There is beauty in the simple. I’m so excited to continue to embrace that beauty.

budding new life

This week, Holy Week, is a special week for me.  For some it may be a week full of religious rituals and celebrations.  For others, just a normal week.  For me, this week is a reminder of the truly undeserved and amazing grace and love that have been given to me.  I love that this week falls during this season of new life.  The budding trees, tulips popping from the ground, the brown grass slowly turning green.  These are all signs of new life in the world around me and those things remind me of the ways that my faith and hope are made new when I allow myself to trust in and fully accept the love that has been given to me.  

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The church community that I'm apart of was talking this weekend about how the Church often focuses on personal sacrifice at this time of year, as a way to relate to the suffering of Jesus. We started talking about the possibility of using this time to focus outwardly, instead of inwardly.  That instead of connecting ourselves to the suffering of Jesus, perhaps, we could connect ourselves to the suffering of those around us.  The truth is that when we do that, we are essentially connecting ourselves to Jesus himself.   

This concept got me thinking about this upcoming week and that maybe I could focus more outwardly, instead of inwardly.   That maybe I could share love with the people around me in a more intentional way.  Maybe that love could take the form of a cup of water, a hug, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear.  Perhaps it could be far more.  

While some of you reading this may not share my faith or beliefs, I think we can all agree that a little love can go a long way.  So as you start this week, I encourage to spend some of it focusing outwardly, rather than inwardly.  We may never see the results of that bit of selflessness, but I'm positive that it will make an impact.  Perhaps you could be the hope that someone needs, just as the budding lilacs are hope that spring is finally arriving.

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Grace and peace to you in this beautiful week ahead.